Beautiful Creatures You and I
by Sage-and-Spades
Summary: Before, during and after the events of X-Men: Days of Future Past. Erik cannot face the fact that he is in love with the man he paralyzed and former best friend he left behind after the Cuban Missile Crisis, however Raven is more than willing to give him what he desires by taking on Charles' form. Later when she reunites with Charles and finds out it wasn't quite unrequited
1. Without Fail

"You are very beautiful," Erik's statement hung in the air unfinished. Raven knew more had to come, but for some reason Erik decided not to finish his claim. She could have sworn he'd reject her outright like he had done back at the mansion. He had made her feel as though her naturally blue form could be admired, even coveted. He had also remarked that he would not sleep with her. Not then at least, but perhaps in a few years. Well even though only a few months had passed, they had been through a lot together, fighting together for mutants and against humans. Their fights had lost them a few fellow mutants, first Azazel then Angel and more after. They had vanished, but Erik was always consistent, trustworthy and Raven was always at his side.

"But…?" Raven prompted, tired of waiting for Erik to finish his thought. She looked up to him, laying on her side on Erik's bed, the sheets wrinkled under her naked form. The other mutant shook his head, glancing away from her, his face unreadable, blue eyes focused far off. She could tell something was eating at him but she couldn't place it. "I thought you had said you might want to be with me one day… have you changed your mind? Erik talk to me," Raven got up and guided Erik back to face her, his head in her hands. Her thumb stroked the side of his cheek and she smiled up to him, trying to break away at the wall he always had up between himself and the world. Raven had managed to get past it a few times and she knew she was the only one aside from Charles that had managed that much. "Why do you seem so sad? Did I do something wrong?"

"No," Erik took hold of her wrists, keeping her close. He pressed a kiss to the inside of one of her palms, making her smile brilliantly up at him again, "It's not that you have done something wrong. And I do truly think you are beautiful… I just can't."

"Okay," her smile faded, thinking. After a moment an idea struck her, "Is there someone else? I could change to look like them, anyone, just tell me." That made sense, she thought. Perhaps he wanted someone that he thought he could not have and Raven provided the unique opportunity to be with someone without actually being with them. She didn't mind the idea, in all honestly. She wanted to do whatever she could to please Erik - if that meant taking on another mutant's form, she didn't mind. At least that's what she told herself.

"I don't think that wise," Erik slowly lowered Raven's hands. She could tell by the look in his eye that she had hit her mark. He was interested in another but clearly feared the implications of his feelings.

"So there is someone else, honestly I don't mind! Tell me who it is. Come on Erik…" She kissed along his jaw, trying to coax the answer out of him. She had become a bit too curious about this mystery person Erik had been lusting after secretly.

"I couldn't ask you to do that. You deserve better, Raven."

"You realize it's still me when I shift, right? I don't care if the wrapping is different, if it helps make you feel better. I want to be with you… so just tell me, okay? I won't judge, whoever it is," She drew his hands up and kissed along his knuckles, "tell me, come on. You know you want to,"

"It's Charles." Erik blurted, instantly regretting it. He pulled his hands back from her lips and retreated a ways, turning his back to the other mutant and pressing his hands to the surface of his desk, "Dammit, Raven! You shouldn't have pestered me about this," his said, voice a bit choked.

She stared at his back, surprised. She hadn't expected that. She thought he'd say Emma or Angel, not Charles. No wonder he had been struggling with it, refusing to tell her whenever she had prompted him in the past as to what his type was. Suddenly a lot of things clicked into place for her then. The depression that had sunk in after they left Charles and the others in Cuba. Erik hadn't been all sunshines and rainbows before, but still, he seemed off after that. Not only had he hurt, betrayed and paralyzed his best friend, but he had been in love with the telepath as well. Or at least he was attracted to him.

Raven smiled sadly at Erik's back and changed form, growing to Charles' height, hair darkening to brunette locks, yellow eyes giving way to brilliant blue pools. "Erik," her voice had already taken on his deeper tone and English accent. "Come along," He slid his hand in place over Erik's, standing at the other mutant's side.

Erik shook his head, tears in his eyes, "Don't do this, Raven."

"Play along, at least for now. See how it goes." Charles took up Erik's hand and guided him back to his bed. "You should have told me, old friend. I would not have thought any less of you," He pulled Erik down to lay and held him to his chest, stroking his shorter, brunette locks.

Erik wrapped his arms around him slowly, listening to him speak. He knew it was Raven, he kept telling himself it was her, but he broke down none the less. He cried against Charles' chest, a messy jumble of apologies coming out between sobs. Charles hummed softly to him, holding his head to the crook of his neck and continuing to stroke his fingers through his hair to soothe him, letting him babble on until he drifted off to sleep.

Raven knew that Erik had taken a great leap of faith entrusting this knowledge to her about himself. She knew his trust didn't come easy, and knew not to push him about it much after that. She never asked him about Charles in front of others, and even in private she hardly ever mentioned him. Erik had, with time, learned to ask for what he wanted and Raven would agree without question. She didn't really know how else to show her support for him, at least not in a way that the closed off mutant would appreciate. He wasn't ever a very emotional man, so speaking of the times Erik would cry into her chest as she took on Charles' form was out of the question. When he was able to be in Charles' presence without breaking down, Raven, as Charles, asked what Erik would like. And so began their more intimate relationship.

Raven would take on Charles' form and Erik would have free reign to be with the man he loved, free of judgement or denial and without exposing himself to the real Charles.

x x x

"I have a request."

Raven looked up to Erik, moments from shifting into Charles. "Oh?"

Erik nodded, taking a deep breath and turning to face her, "I want him as he would be now…"

"Paralyzed," She said quietly, knowing Erik was still sometimes triggered, lost in his memory of having caused the accident.

"Yes," he said slowly, trying to read Raven's reaction.

"Okay. He had an L2 injury, so he isn't able to walk and little to no feeling in his lower extremities." She shifted on the bed and within seconds she was Charles, legs settled and slightly thinned with lack of use. He looked up to Erik, reaching an arm to him, "Join me?"

Erik smiled faintly and climbed on to the bed. He kissed along Charles' wrist and up his arm. "Charles," He hummed, wrapping an arm around his waist and drawing him closer. "I've never been with someone who…" He trailed off, not knowing how to finish his sentence.

Charles smiled up to Erik, his bright blue eyes searching the other mutant, "We can learn together." He assured him, drawing a hand through Erik's hair. "I'll feel through your pleasure." Raven figured that if Charles were to have sex with another, he could sync his mind with his partner and feel through them what he could no longer. Just because she couldn't actually read Erik's mind didn't mean she couldn't play along, attempt to be as realistic a Charles as she could be.

Erik gave the other mutant an incredulous look before laying Charles down and kissing along his chest, catching one of his nipples between his lips. He traced over the slightly perked bud with his tongue, playing with it experimentally.

"Oh!" Charles arched his back off the bed some, the sensation overwhelming. He licked his lips and tilted his head back, his hands stroking over Erik's back and shoulders, encouraging him to continue. "Erik, please," he knew how Erik loved to hear his voice.

"Good?" Erik hummed, holding Charles' hip and kissing down slowly. He smiled against Charles' skin whenever his muscles flexed under the contact. When he neared it, Erik dipped his tongue into Charles' navel. His eyes never left the telepath's face, wanting to see every expression the other mutant could make as he explored his body.

"Erik! Oh," He met the other's eyes, his chest rising and falling more rapidly, unable to steady his breathing. "You would tease me with that tongue."

Erik smiled, "You say that as if you don't like it,"

"Oh I never said that," he chuckled, "don't stop." He gave a curt nod and continued down along the slighter man's body, kissing the slightly protruding bones of his hips,

"Can you feel that?"

"Yes,"

Erik guided Charles' legs apart slowly, the pads of his fingertips caressing the telepath's inner thighs. "This?"

"No," Charles pushed himself up onto his elbows, watching Erik with unconcealed interest, "But don't stop."

The other nodded and traced his lips slowly along the path his fingers hand taken, smiling against his skin when he moved down past his knees, his face tickled by Charles' fine leg hair. "You know one of my favorite imperfections of yours?" He asked against Charles' leg.

"Hm?" Charles responded, pleased all the same to watch Erik admire his body.

"The freckles that form over your cheeks, just under your brilliant, blue eyes, when you've had more than a little sun." Erik sat up and brought Charles' legs with him, kissing the heels of his feet before drawing them apart again and slotting himself between his pale thighs.

"Erik," Charles smiled up to the other brunette, biting his bottom lip to hide his smile some as the other moved against him, not yet pushing in. "The jar," he reached toward the bedside table where a glass jar sat. Without so much as a flick of his wrist the jar floated over to Erik, the metal lid allowing him to manipulate it easily. He scooped out some of the cold jelly onto his fingers and replaced the jar on the table before working half of the jelly over his erection and the other half into Charles.

Erik had been careful throughout the whole process, trying to keep in mind that Charles couldn't tell him if he had hurt him. He placed Charles' legs on either side of him, drawing him up into his lap as he slowly worked the telepath open for him.

"You know you're beautiful to watch work," Charles smiled up to Erik, "You make the sweetest expressions."

"Analyzing me while I prepare you?" Erik raised a brow.

"Of course. I analyze everything." He reached a hand up and stroked his thumb over Erik's cheek, "Don't mind me talking."

"Hnn." Erik wrapped his free hand around Charles' cock, attempting to make him erect.

"Don't," Charles let out a short huff, "don't obsess over getting me off. I - wait," Charles watched Erik's hand pump along his length, the slightest of sensations tingling through him. He groaned, wishing he could feel more than a ghost of a touch from it.

"You can't feel this? At all?"

"It's a slight sensation, it's different. I'm not going to get off on it, it's not enough. Just give me your orgasm, Erik."

He sighed but nodded, giving in to the will of the other mutant. He lined himself up with Charles, and moved in slowly so the other's body could adjust. He wrapped one arm up under Charles' back and hooked his hand over his shoulder, holding him in place as he pressed into him, the other supporting him so his weight wasn't crushing the telepath.

"Erik," Charles breathed, "you're beautiful, kiss me." He wrapped an arm around Erik's shoulders, drawing himself up and crushing their lips together.

The larger male stayed seated inside of Charles a long moment, pressed flush up against the telepath, "I'm going to move now, alright?" He asked after breaking the kiss.

"Of course," Charles smiled. Erik pressed his forehead to the other mutant's, wanting any and all forms of contact he could have with him. He pulled out slowly before thrusting back in. The telepath's free hand wandered down, stroking Erik's side as he moved, feeling his muscles flex and coil under his hand. He gripped Erik's hip, his eyes slipping closed as Erik worked himself in and out of the smaller male, working up to his own orgasm.

He was thankful Erik had a firm hold on him, keeping him from moving up the bed with the power of the thrusts jarring him some once the other mutant got going. A moment of want, to wrap his legs around Erik's waist as he pounded into him, brought a small groan of frustration from Charles' lips.

Erik paused, looking down to Charles, "What is it?" He asked, genuine worry creasing his brow,

"I'm alright, keep going. Come on," He pressed a sloppy kiss to Erik's lips to assure him and without another moment of hesitation Erik slipped right back into his rhythm.

Erik groaned gently and dipped his head, pressing his face into Charles' neck as he continued on. Charles was able to, with the unobstructed view, watch Erik move on top of him. He watched, mesmerized as the muscles of Erik's back caught the light, how, when his hips pressed forward, the muscles of his ass clenched and created little dimples in the round globes. He reached his hand from Erik's hip to his bum, following it's movement forward and back. He focused on the sound of skin hitting skin and the soft pants escaping the other mutant.

Erik lost himself in the feel of the other mutant. His way having been eased by the jelly was still tight and despite the fact he knew Charles couldn't control his body's reactions, the walls around his length clenched now and then. He kept a firm hold on the Charles, listening to any and every sound that left his lips. He nudged his nose against Charles' neck and pressed his lips firmly to the sweaty skin there, licking and sucking on to the spot to leave his mark. He managed to put a good deal of his weight on the arm under the telepath and moved his free hand to his nipples, teasing them in an attempt to supply the other with as much pleasure as he could while he worked up to his orgasm. He was rewarded with a few desperate moans that only egged him on further. He was already a few thrusts away from slipping into ecstasy, nestled inside of his mate.

Charles loved listening to Erik when he neared his climax, the short little gasps that passed his lips and the more erratic thrusts. Charles let out a surprised moan when he felt Erik snap his hips forward, taking Erik's head in his hands and watching the other's expression. His eyes rolled back some with his orgasm, not unlike when he was manipulating a great deal of metal at once. The expression brought a smile to Charles' lips and he pressed up to kiss him, feeling the other tremble with the aftershocks of his release.

He kissed back for a moment, pressing down against the smaller male, seated inside of him still. He rolled them onto their sides and pulled back, smiling faintly to Charles, "Thank you…"

"Oh please," Charles blushed faintly, "thank me for what? You were beautiful to watch. I could watch you all day." He ran a hand up Erik's side, pausing at the front of his chest. "Now I know what you're thinking,"

"Oh you do? What am I thinking then?"

"You're obsessing over having not making me come as well. It's fine, honestly Erik. You wanted to be with me as I truly am, I won't always come. I can't feel the same way I used to. It's alright, truly."

"But it's no fairt-"

"I know It's not entirely fair, but I'm satiated, alright? Drop it."

Erik sighed in defeat before giving a short nod, "Only if you allow me to continue trying. Not tonight. But in general."

"Of course." Charles pressed another kiss to Erik's lips. "We should clean up."

"Why in such a hurry?"

"We have plans, remember?"

"Doesn't mean we can't enjoy the afterglow a bit. We have time."

"President isn't going to save himself from that shooter, you know. We have one month to set up. I'd like to meet our checkpoint."

"Alright, yes, you're right."

"Always am." Erik let out a small chuckle before cleaning Charles out. Once clear he shifted back into Raven and she got up out of bed, "Shower with me?"

"Of course."

x x

Erik and Raven had found out in advance that there was a plan to assassinate the President of the United States, John F. Kennedy. It had been suspected that the President supported mutants and was going to have a speech asking his fellow Americans to accept the newly evolved individuals. The idea of it all sparked rage in mutant fearing citizens, including Lee Harvey Oswald. So as not to tip off the resistance to their knowledge of the situation, they had planned to have Raven go undercover as Oswald and attempt to kill the President. Erik would, of course, be there to stop any shots that would kill Kennedy, raising awareness of mutants and support for them at the same time if he was seen stopping the bullets. The true Oswald would then be arrested and tried.

Things had worked out perfectly the following weeks. Raven had successfully taken over Oswald's place and was living alongside his wife two weeks before Kennedy was due in Texas. When the time came, she prepared her shot and fired at JFK. Chaos erupted at the first shot, easily deflected by Erik. The second shot, producing the famous Bent Bullet, however wasn't likewise redirected as they had planned. Raven saw Kennedy and the man in front of him jerk when shot and instantly dropped the gun, realizing something must have gone wrong for Erik to have allowed the bullet to touch either of them. Erik had, at the time of the second shot, been singled out and a police officer tackled him, creating the less than realistic trajectory of the second bullet.

A back up for the resistance against mutants had shot the final bullet that killed Kennedy, something neither Raven nor Erik had planned for. The shape shifter left the gun behind, careful to leave a print from Oswald on it and hurried to meet with Erik and leave. The brunette had managed to break away from the officer, but not before a girl got a good look of him.

"What the hell just happened, Erik!" Raven cried, pulling the other mutant into a building.

"I was tackled by an officer," he looked out the window cautiously, "Kennedy's dead now. There was another working alongside Oswald. Couldn't stop that shot either."

"I did my job, left the gun… oh god, Erik they saw you,"

"You have to be someone else when they come for me, Raven. They'll arrest and imprison me. As far as they care I killed the President."

"Erik we could run,"

"No. We can make an example of him,"

"He was on our side! How can we make an example of killing our allies?"

"Wasn't just that, he was one of us, Raven."

"Oh god, Erik…" She threw her hands up, covering her mouth to keep from crying out in the otherwise quiet building. "What are you going to do, Erik?"

"Let me think on it, alright! Just go, Raven, and don't you dare try and worm your way in, I don't want you getting caught as an accomplice,"

"Erik I-" she bit back a sob and pressed a kiss to his lips. He allowed the moment, holding her close before gently pushing her away,

"Now, Raven. I need you on the outside. Perhaps one day there will be an opportunity for you to get me out. Maybe not. Either way. I'm proud of you," He kissed her forehead. She knew that was the closest to a sentimental goodbye she was going to get so she quickly shifted into a police officer and hurried out of the building.

x

Raven managed to get a seat in Erik's secret trial four months later. She sat, watching the back of his head as he was put on trial, willing him to look her way and recognise her, despite her disguise. She was donning the appearance of a high ranking officer, the only way she could make it in to see him one last time. Her heart was racing, fearful for the sentence he would receive - it was too hefty of a crime to be locked in an ordinary prison. Then of course he had to go and display his powers when given the opportunity. He bent the offered crowbar into a knot with ease and the room erupted into chaos.

Raven chuckled softly, unable to be entirely stoic at a moment like that, always amused by Erik and his little attempts at showing off his power to humans. She watched as he turned around slowly, looking into the crowd. That, she told herself, was her opportunity to show she was still with him. She shifted amongst the chaos, unnoticed as she took on the form she used to take around Charles, the one she had met Erik in.

His eyes fell on her and she could see the momentary surprise, then the slow, sad smile that lifted the corners of his lips. He shook his head slightly and lowered his eyes to the ground before turning back to face forward. Raven shifted back then, biting the inside of her cheek. She wanted so badly to go and break him free, to disappear into the crowd and save Erik. She guessed that was what Erik had expected her to think and supplied her with an answer before she even made the move.

'No, Raven.'

She clenched her hands into fists as the crowd was brought back under control. Half way through the trial it was brought up that Erik was seen with a woman shortly after the shooting,

"She had no hand in any of this," he claimed.

"We'd like to determine that ourselves," the judge replied.

"You'll never find her. She has a way of hiding in plain sight."

Raven couldn't decide if she should smile or cry, knowing that with his words, Erik was also telling her to keep away. Half a day later Erik was sentenced, found guilty of first-degree murder and conspiring to assassinate President John F. Kennedy. He was sentenced to two consecutive life sentences in a facility that would be made, metal free, specifically for him.

And so began Erik's nine year imprisonment.

* * *

AN: Hey all! Hope everyone enjoyed the first chapter, more to come, I assure you.

Couple of notes:

* I do not know what sex is like for individuals who are paralyzed like Charles is, however I found it to be too crucial to the plot and to central to the canon in the movies that I could not justify taking it out. Plus I feel like it's a dynamic not seen often enough, so here it is, Charles in this fic is paralyzed from the waist down. If someone knows more about sex with a paraplegic individual, from either perspective, please feel free to tell me more/correct what I may have done wrong.

* I got information for timelines by googling "X-Men Movies Timeline" first link that is the wiki

* Information about Erik's trial and the Bent Bullet by googling "The Bent Bullet" Really cool interactive X-men website is the first link. (Damn FFN for not allowing links!)

* Days Spoiler! The mutant romantic in me really loved the idea that Erik tried to save JFK and so I worked it in with the information from the second link. I hope I did an alright job blending the two. I know Raven was supposed to outright kill Kennedy, but an error in canon says her first kill was Trask and I wanted to keep it that way/ I don't like her killing the President so I got rid of that bit, oh well :D

* This fic will have more Days Of Future Past Spoilers in it so if you have not yet seen it and do not want anything ruined for you, see the movie first! I won't be going through every detail of the movie, but there are major events that I cannot ignore *cough* Charles *cough* drugs *cough*.

* Leave me comments! They motivate me to press on, keep writing and updating.

* Next chapter will include Charles! No, not Raven shape shifted into him for fun times with Erik, but actual Charles!


	2. Only In My Dreams

Everything had gone relatively well preparing the Xavier mansion to be both school and sanctuary to many young mutants. Charles had thrown himself into the planning early on during his physical therapy, only a month after the Cuban Missile Crisis. Hank had suspected it was the telepath's way of putting off thinking about Erik, Ravn or his disability - and while he was thankful the man hadn't turned to more detrimental outlets, he still worried for him.

Then came the news about the President. It had been horrifying to begin with, but to have Erik named as a mutant extremist as who had assassinated JFK was the extra bit that pushed Charles from his path. Having such a forceful reminder of Erik's destructive nature, Charles was forced to stop and face his feelings, even for a short while, about what had happened to him. Charles stopped planning for the school for a month and a half, his mind lost elsewhere.

"Don't you think you've had enough?" Hank asked, voice unsure. He always disliked confrontations with Charles while he was drunk.

"No," he began, holding his glass up for Hank to refill, when he made no move he continued, "either help me with my buzz or move." He leveled a glare at Hank, waiting for him to make up his mind. The scientist gave in, taking the glass from the other mutant. He dipped the neck of the bottle for just a moment so that hardly two sips could be made of it before giving the glass back to Charles. "Don't think I don't know what you're trying," He peered into the glass a moment and moved from the room, chair whirring quietly as he directed it down the hall. "Luckily for you I'm going to retire now to my room." _Where I've already stashed my good Brandy, _He thought to himself.

"Then I have to come," Hank began, knowing Charles' strength dwindled when he had been drinking and he would be unable to pull himself out of his chair and into bed.

Charles paused a moment, trying to remember exactly where he had put the bottle and if Hank would see it upon entering his room. "If you must," he hummed noncommittally.

Once Hank had left Charles, having helped him into bed, he couldn't find the motivation to pull himself back out and get to his stashed alcohol. He huffed and pushed himself onto his side, facing the open window looking out over the dark grounds. He hugged his nearly empty glass to his cheek as he drifted from consciousness.

Charles rolled his hips up, eyes still closed to the light of the sun, painting his vision in red as he focused on the strong hands trailing down over his thighs, parting them slowly.

"Open your eyes. Come on, look at me, Charles." The smaller mutant smiled a moment, the corners of his lips dipping away from the sun, cast in shadow. When he did peek his eyes open, icy pools more grey than their regular green-blue stared back at him, Erik's irises catching the light from the sun and paling the color of them further. "There you are," Erik's expression softened and the other mutant moved down between Charles' thighs.

"What are you going after down th- oh good lord," Erik's mouth was on him before he could finish speaking, spreading his legs wider and moving a hand down to knot his fingers in brown-red locks.

The metal bender looked up along the length of the smaller mutant, his view obstructed by the other's erection, standing at attention, neglected. He drew his tongue around the trembling pucker of Charles' entrance, hands holding his firm cheeks apart as he eased his tongue in slowly.

A breathy whine escaped the telepath before he could stop it, cheeks colored pink with embarrassment and arousal as Erik pressed his tongue over the circle, the wet pink muscle curving into him in a far too skilled manner. "Erik!" The sight alone was nearly enough to push him over, seeing Erik, face flush up against him. Charles raised himself up off the bed some, his feet pressed to his metal footboard for leverage. Erik followed him up and moved a hand to stroke along Charles' leaking cock, making him cry out again, hips working to get himself off faster. Within moments the telepath came, muscles spasming every few seconds until he dropped off from his high.

"I'd guess from the look on your face you've returned from the heavens, honestly Charles, the sounds and faces you make are pornographic."

His cheeks darkened farther, "Oh shutup," he smiled drowsily, "you know you love every moment of it."

"That I do." Erik offered him a wide smile as he climbed up into bed with him.

Right as Erik's lips came down to meet Charles', the telepath woke, eyes snapping open, expression the epitome of surprise for a split second before it contorted to one of pain, eyes brimming with tears. His chest radiated pain, ripped so suddenly from a dream he wanted so desperately to be true. Charles took in a shuddering breath, brows knit together as he tried to pull himself together. He reached a hand down and touched his leg, the foreign limb not responding even minutely.

Charles carefully eased himself into his chair from bed an hour later and went to his hidden bottle. He didn't bother to find the glass he had fallen asleep with pressed to his face the night before and instead drank straight from the deep amber colored bottle.

It took Hank another month to get Charles off of alcohol and back to planning for the school, however he had lost the fervor he had worked with before the news had hit about Erik. He gave him time to cope, hoping eventually he would brighten, once the school was opened. Three years from starting the planning Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters opened and began accepting mutants from all over.

Despite the successful start of the school, Hank could see the unhappiness that still plagued Charles. He did seem, overall, happier. However the telepath could be found sulking, eyes unfocused as he thought of other things, his mind elsewhere when he thought no one was watching him. When Charles was left to think, unoccupied by teaching or helping students especially, but every now and then he would be lost mid thought during a lecture. His hand would grip his thigh subtly, testing for feedback that never came. Hank knew that Charles still had nightmares about the day Erik and Raven left him. He was woken more nights than not by Charles' cries, easily heard through the wall separating their rooms. After the first couple of weeks Charles had brushed it off, told Hank he was alright and apologized for having startled him when he checked in on him. Eventually the scientist gave in and left him be.

It was a year later, when the war overseas intensified and Charles' students and faculty were drafted that the telepath broke down again. He locked himself away from Hank, the rest of the mansion emptied. He wallowed in his pain, refusing to use his chair or eat regular meals. He wouldn't listen to Hank's attempts to reason with him no matter how many times he tried to coax Charles from his depression. His nightmares worsened, fear for his students dying overseas mingling with the devastation of Erik's betrayal keeping him from sleeping most nights and haunting him when he did slip from consciousness. He didn't have any relief either, the nights he was free of nightmares and could sleep, his mind supplied him with the bittersweet dreams of Erik taking him and being able to walk and feel his legs again, throwing him into ice water whenever he woke alone and paralyzed once more.

He felt his mind being invaded, a crushing weight pressing down on his chest before he heard the cries from the room next to his. He scrambled to his bedside to pull his glasses on before he hurried into the telepath's room. "Charles," Hank turned a lamp on at the brunette's bedside table before touching the other mutant's forehead, brushing his sweaty locks away. "You're safe, you're here with me. Shhh, come on, look at me. It's Hank."

Charles writhed on his bed, anchored by Hank's hand on his brow. Tortured blue orbs rolled up to look into Hank's worried face, slowly coming back to himself. He blinked the tears from his eyes and rolled out from under the contact slowly once he had regained himself. "'M sorry, Hank…"

"Hey, it's not your fault. I don't blame any of this on you," he tried to encourage the other, "your powers get away from you sometimes is all."

Whenever he woke lately, Charles' ability cast itself wide, connecting with any mind that was near enough and pressing his fear, pain and sadness into the individuals. The first time it happened Hank had been so intimately connected to the telepath that he couldn't move his legs until Charles was aware of the connection and pulled back from Hank's mind. That same incident was when Hank learned the extent of his friend's feelings toward Erik. He made no comment, unsure if Charles was aware he knew. Still he could understand better the other's pain.

He could see how utterly devastated the telepath was and how little he had progressed in so long and so Hank had worked endlessly to come up with a temporary fix for his hurting friend. At least it had been meant to be temporary. Something to give him his legs back and that would quell the storm that always raged on in his mind. Another year passed before he came up with his serum. He hadn't thought to use the drug he had synthesized with the help of Raven years ago to combat their mutations as a springboard to the later drug.

He told Charles of the serum one night, expressing that he hadn't refined it yet but couldn't really alter it until he had some test results from Charles since he couldn't very well test rats to see how it affected paralysis or telepathy. The man had given him a tired stare, weary but not opposed to the idea. He also had a sort of 'fuck all' attitude, believing it couldn't make things worse. If he was entirely honest with himself, he was willing to do anything to be able to walk or sleep sound again.

The drug hadn't been expected to be such a success so soon. A few modifications and within another year Charles was able to walk and sleep with relative ease, but at a price. He couldn't use his ability. He couldn't read even the faintest whisper of a thought but what scared Hank most was Charles' eagerness to give up his ability so long as he could walk. He was quickly addicted to the drug, taking more than he needed to as well as drinking at all hours of the day. Hank feared he had subdued, not improved the situation.

x x x

Raven had been on her own for a long time before she decided she wanted to take a quick visit home. She visited the mansion while classes were still in session and students were still crowding the halls, giving her endless opportunities and forms to take on. She shifted into one little girl and paced through the halls, trying to find Hank or Charles. She found the later first, sitting in the library as students quietly milled about. She hugged herself to the door stop as she watched the brunette, anchored in place by his chair as he watched students, smiling weakly to some as they waved before he would lower his head, pretending to be reading the book in his lap.

She wanted so badly to go over to him and give him a hug but she feared how he would respond, knowing Charles had to suspect she had a part in the shooting and fearing his rejection because of it. She decided not to engage the man she had grown up with and instead wandered the halls aimlessly for a while. She took in all she could while she was there, admiring Charles and Hank's work on the school. After a while she ventured up to the wing that housed Charles, Hank and her old room, wanting to see who occupied the space.

She was shocked to see nothing had changed in her room. It was cleaned, not a spec of dust to be found, but otherwise everything seemed to be left in place from the last day she had been there, four years ago.

Curiosity got the better of her when she left her old bedroom. She slipped into Charles' room next to see if it too, was as much as mess as she had remembered it to be. There was a clear path left between piles of papers and junk for his chair to maneuver, but otherwise the room was just as chaotic as she could remember. She sunk into his bed and pressed her face into his pillows, shifting to her natural blue form. Raven could smell Charles on the sheets which was oddly comforting to her. She felt safe and at home for the first time since she left.

She hadn't realized she had fallen asleep in Charles' bed until the sun was setting. She quickly shifted back into the little girl she had wander around as earlier that day before and

disappeared once more to make her own path since Erik had been ripped from her side and staying wasn't a viable option.

x x

Days blended together into weeks which likewise blended into months. There was no real rest in his solitary confinement, the lights overhead never giving way and letting him have some time to rest his mind and actually sleep properly. It didn't help either that food wasn't brought on a consistent breakfast, lunch, dinner schedule with five or so hours between meals and an eight or nine hour block left for sleeping. Instead he was given food what he assumed to be every eight hours, stretching out the time between meals. The food, on top of it was a monotone colored mush and he tried not to hard to think about the components it was made of. He couldn't find it in himself to complain though, he didn't expect much more for the treatment of an assumed president killer.

The worst part of being imprisoned wasn't the constant light overhead, the food or the thin bedding that offered little to no padding from the hard cement floor. The worst part was the deafening silence. It left him with little to do but think of the things he wanted to stay furthest from; Charles whom he had hurt so badly and betrayed. Raven whom he'd left alone with no one to go to or rely on. Last was his dark past, before he met the two other mutants. He was left alone to rot in a prison that often triggered memories he wished he could barry of his first sort of hell.

He relived his mother's death a thousand times in his sleep, unable to move the simple metal coin even with the development of his abilities, trapped in his younger self. He relived the agonized scream Charles released as he pressed the coin through Shaw's skull, the telepath holding him immobile for Erik. He relived deflecting the bullet meant for him into Charles' lower back, always only ever gaining control of himself or the bullet after the damage had already been done. He was a prisoner in his own body as he relived the worst memories he had, unable to change anything about them.

Even after years he still woke with a start, his ability forced out from him in a sphere, attempting to cling to any metal he could find, never latching on to anything before his limits were reached. The unintended shock wave did have some effects on the surface, kitchen knives tumbling to the floor randomly, pans dented, but never did Erik feel any of it. A sort of hollowness ached inside of him, feeling as though he lost his ability, his freedom, his sanity. At times he wished for his days to simply come to an end.

x

There was no hope for the school to be brought back to it's former glory, his students were still gone. He didn't need to work to pay for his home either, nor did he feel as though he had anywhere else to go or be so Charles found himself with an overabundance of free time. He wouldn't leave his room without first giving himself a dose of the drug Hank had made him, tying his himself off with a rubber tube and injecting the inside of his left arm, now scarred from multiple daily injections. He would sit and wait, feeling the effects of the drug taking hold. His mind becoming a little hazier, slight euphoria and the numbing his ability, closing his mind off from other beings, safely tucked away inside of his own mind. He'd feel the soreness in his legs return, a welcome ache when it meant he could walk. Charles would watch his toes curl, the sight brought tears to his eyes the first couple of years.

He padded around his room a few times, letting his body adjust and to let the drugs take affect. He was hyper aware of his lower half as he moved; feeling the carpet under his feet give way, the sensation of his pant legs brushing against his skin whenever he took a step. Hank couldn't understand, and he knew he didn't. But he wasn't fighting to be able to do something most people could. He pushed the thoughts back before leaving his room and going to make himself a drink. That's when he heard Hank talking to someone he didn't know.

x x

The fact that Logan kept mentioning him being able to walk didn't slip past Charles even as he played it off to the rather bulky man. He listened to his speal, telling himself that the stranger was out of his mind, but a part of him nagged at a feeling that he had met him before and that Logan knew him as well.

"I'll tell you what you told me then," Charles paused, looking into Logan's eyes, "go fuck yourself." He shoved himself off of the other as fast as he could and retreated back to his room to give himself another shot.

"I told you there wasn't a professor here." Hank said sadly, watching the other mutant absorb the information.

"What's happened to him?"

"He's lost everything… the drug I synthesized, that I use to treat my mutation lets him walk, but he can't use his abilities either. See," Hank moved around to get closer to Logan, "I take just enough to treat myself. But... he takes too much."

"I'm not cut out for this," the other mutant sighs, not knowing what to do with himself now. If Charles couldn't read his mind he couldn't know he was telling the truth, that he was from the future and that they needed him as much as he needed them. He was more than relieved when he heard Charles say he'd help. It didn't matter the man's reason, not to Logan. If Charles was willing to help then half of the battle was already won. When he mentioned Erik though, he caught the other's devastation. "I need you both for this. It's the only way,"

"He won't work with us." Charles said bitterly, looking away. "Not like he could."

"He sent me here with you, from the future. He'll join."

"If you can get to him."

"Why? Where is he?"

"He honestly didn't tell you?" Hank chuckled, shaking his head slowly, "He's in prison. Under the pentagon." He leaned to the side to see Charles drawing in to himself, expression hard.

"Well… I know a guy. Could break into anywhere. Grew up outside of DC. But I don't know where exactly."

Hank looked to Charles, fearful to ask "Is Cerebro out of the question?" The look Charles gives him and the way he moves back is all Hank needs. "We have a phone book."

x x x

Despite the utter annoyance Pieto "Peter" Maximoff inspired in Charles, the former professor was still slightly taken by the teen. He clearly had kleptomaniac issues, but there was something endearing about him that he liked. They sent him out ahead of them into the pentagon to secure his _borrowed_ uniform and attempt to break Erik out of his cell.

Erik had been resting, attempting to clear his mind when the tray hit his bedding. He opened his eyes slowly to look up at the guard, _He seems… young._ He propped himself up on his elbow and looked over at the tray and the note under the see-through top. _Mind the glass. _Confused he looked back up to the guard who in turn smiled to him. When his hands touched the glass ceiling of his cell he got to his feet to watch, interested.

Moments later he was shaking himself free of shards of the glass and hoisting himself up out of his cell. "You know guards will be coming through there any moment to stop us,"

"Planning on it." Quicksilver smiled, suddenly at his side, one hand at the back of Erik's head, the other on his arm.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm holding your neck so you don't get whiplash."

"What?"

Quicksilver gave him an exasperated look, "Whip-laaaaaaaaaaaaaash," he clarified vaguely.

Before he could blink they were suddenly in an elevator, his entire body feeling as though it had withstood a car crash, eyes dry and stomach upside down. He reached out to the wall of the elevator to steady himself.

"Happens to everyone," mused the teen, suddenly wearing a silver getup. "You must have done something pretty serious. What'd you do? Come on, tell me. What did you do? What did you do? What did you do?"

"Killed the president." That caught the kid off guard. He looked to the man tapped to the side of the elevator. "I'm only guilty of fighting for people like us."

"Oh. So they told me you can control metal."

"They?"

"You know, my mom knew a guy that could do that,"

Erik turned to look at the teen then, caught off by what he had said just before the elevator doors opened, revealing a rather wet Charles Xavier. "Charles?" The punch had been a surprise. Not uncalled for, he supposed, but a surprise no less. He held his jaw a moment, "Good to see you too, old friend." He swallowed down the whirl of emotions that rose at the sight of Charles. Shame, sadness, regret, fear, love and adoration. Now wasn't the time.

Wasn't the time either when they were on the plane. Erik had to change out of his prison uniform so as not to look too suspicious as they headed east for the conference in Paris to stop Raven. Logan didn't have any extra clothes with him and the metal bender refused to wear any of Hank's shockingly stripped clothes, seeing as all of them would have made him look like a child. So Charles grudgingly allowed the other mutant to take a pair of pants and a denim button down shirt he had packed for the trip. Erik tried to hide his approval of wearing the telepath's clothes, keeping the smile from his lips when he left the cramped bathroom on the plane.

He settled on the couch near Charles, facing neither Logan nor the telepath, either man at opposite ends of the cabin. He could feel the Charles' eyes on him and before he could stop himself he lashed out, "You sacrificed your powers so you could walk?" Erik asked, turning to stare back at the other mutant.

"I sacrificed my powers so I could sleep." His voice drifted off at the end of the half lie, expression hurt.

"I've lost my fair share,"

Charles scoffed, "Dry your eyes Erik, doesn't justify what you've done."

"You don't know what I've done," He began, knowing Charles had to suspect he had been entirely responsible for the death of their president.

"I know you've taken the things that mean the most to me,"

"Maybe you should have fought harder for them." Erik couldn't help the slip, anger getting the better of him in the interaction.

Charles' expression shifted from shock to rage in a second and he was up. He came at Erik, howling "You abandoned me! You took her away and _you_ abandoned _me_!"

Later Erik knew he should have taken them another direction, express his regret and hope that Charles could forgive him. But Erik hadn't ever been very level headed. He had nearly caused their plane to crash, drawing on the metal of the plane and forcing it off it's previous path some, startling his three companions greatly with the threat of possible death.

Erik approached Charles later, chessboard in his hands as a sort of peace offering. He figured it could be like old times, if only they could pretend for a moment. He wasn't sure if he expected Charles to refuse the game but he wasn't surprised either. He took note of the other mutant drinking, suspicion rising steadily but he made no comment other than the fact that he hadn't had a drink in almost ten years.

When he tried to apologize for what happened in Cuba Charles settled back farther from Erik, back pressed to his seat in a clear attempt to distance himself as possible from the memories. Charles finished his glass and refocused on the chess set before them, willing to play if it meant shutting Erik up for a bit.

He wanted to reconcile things with the other mutant if he could. He didn't know how things would go over later in Paris. Erik hadn't gone with the intention of killing Raven. it seemed the only way to keep their future safe, for all mutants. He didn't want to kill the woman he shared his secrets and life with years ago, but he could see no other way.

When he held the gun up to shoot Raven his vision blurred with tears, heartbroken by the conclusion he had come to. The look on Charles and Raven's faces didn't help, but still he pulled the trigger. He hadn't planned on becoming the bad guy yet again in DC, but things hadn't gone well. He didn't have the trust or patience to believe that humans could live alongside them like Charles had. When the drama ended, he was left alone with a hole through his neck and no one to turn to.

x x x x

Weeks had passed. Charles and Hank had gone back to the mansion and went about things more or less as though what had happened in Paris and DC hadn't occured. Raven was still gone. Erik was god knows where. They only had eachother once more and Charles turned quickly back to his old vices. Five years an addict and a few days saving the future of human and mutant kind alike did not make as large a dent in Charles' habits as Hank would have hoped. He knew, and he knew Charles knew, they had made a difference for the future. Btu in the present, nothing had changed.

Raven had set a mission for herself to find Logan. She had seen that the man meant something to Charles before, back in paris and she knew that Erik had sent the man off somewhere. Eventually she found him, waterlogged, coughing up water and gasping for air. She took custody of him and nursed him back to health in a hotel room, surprisingly it only took a day before he was perfectly fine. Then came the barrage of questions. Raven groaned, daunted by the task of refreshing the other mutant's memory and convince him to come back with her to New York.

Hank opened the door to the mansion when Raven knocked, his expression surprised when he saw her in her next-to-natural form, the form she had met Hank in and that she had taken regularly when growing up with Charles,

"Raven? What are you - is that Logan?" Hank pushed the door open wider and stepped out to see the man off in the distance, back to the door as he leaned, one hand on a tree.

"He's peeing," she sighed heavily, clearly spend, "lovely, your friend."

"Thanks? Logan! Stop that, we have a toilet you can use inside!"

"Where's Charles?" Raven pushed past Hank and inside. "What the hell happened here? I thought it was a school, but the sign is down and everything looks shit."

"School's been out for five years. Couldn't keep up with the war going on."

"Okay. Where's Charles?"

"You should wait here, okay?"

"He's in his room then." Raven moved past him and out of reach. "Go get Logan! Sheesh." She hurried upstairs while Hank deliberated, deciding he had to stop Logan from wandering off on his own before he lost himself to the wilderness that had become of the grounds.

"Charles?" Raven pushed the door open to the mutant's room as she said his name, having always forgotten to knock before entering his room. He had always been able to tell she was coming before though. She was struck with the sight of the man she had grown up with, empty syringe at his side, rubber tube still around his left arm, right hand holding a glass frozen before his lips as he stared back at Raven.

It took a moment for her to process what the scene before her meant. The whole time she stood in the doorway, staring, Charles had been unmoving, mind trying to race through the thick fog his drugs left behind.

Raven took in a slow breath, trying to keep it as even as she could. "What are you on?" She asked, her voice so calm it scared Charles. She'd never been so level headed.

"It's not… it's…" He swallowed hard, heart in his throat. "Something Hank made. Lets me walk…" His right hand lowered, drink forgotten for the time being.

"How much have you been drinking?" She glanced around, noting four empty bottles right off the bat.

"A lot."


End file.
